05.24.2016

Rooted in Being

I’m a thinker. I over-think, worry, analyze, daydream, plan…think, think, think. It’s exhausting. It’s been a few weeks since I last posted, the reason being that my hubs and I had the opportunity to travel for 10 days, kid-free, thanks to some pretty fantastic family who watched our girls for us. During those 10 glorious days, I had a lot of time to think. And I also had a lot of time to read, to soak up so.many.words and let them rest on my soul.

On this trip, I brought with me a book which I had read before. This was a book which I first read 8 years ago, a book which was put in the vault of books to keep for life. The book, “A New Earth” by Eckhart Tolle, talks about our thinking, unconscious selves – our egos. Wow, those egos are strong, friends. My ego is strong. And it worries. It worries about what my purpose is, whether I’m a good enough mom, wife, or person in general, how clean my house is, how I can be a more useful human being, how much (or little) time I have to do all-the-things. Oh, how it worries.

Understanding the Truth of Who You Are

But we are not our egos. We are not the worry, the fear, the frustration – or even the mom, the wife or the friend. We are the awareness that is aware of our ego….I know it’s a mouthful, but hear it with me: we are the awareness that is aware of our thoughts, our opinions and our emotions. What a freeing concept, right?! We are not the incessant stream of thoughts that flood our minds every second of every day. When I accept and know that the deeper, true me is not defined by what I do for a living, who others say or believe I am, what popular culture says I should be, what happened in my past, or what I believe “my story” is – I can rest in the truth that I Am. That’s it, I AM. I can honor my thoughts and feelings, but when I accept that I Am, without all the junk, these things lose their heaviness.

“That’s the peace of God. The ultimate truth of who you are is not I am this or I am that, but I Am.”  –Eckhart Tolle tweet

Really knowing that “I Am” takes a lot of presence; it means rooting myself in simply being rather than getting lost in thinking. Not easy to do with toddlers. Not easy to do at work. Not easy to do with my husband, or my to-do list, or my calendar, or the million other things that consume my thoughts and fragment me rather than make me whole.

Being Present

I love this idea, the truth that I Am. But really, how do we be at peace, right now, right where we are, right in the thick of life? How do we make peace when cheerios are stuck to the floor, when office politics consume your work life, when toddlers are in a fit of rage over the pink plate vs. the yellow one, when the car battery dies?

“By making peace with the present moment. The present moment is the field on which the game of life happens. It cannot happen anywhere else. Once you have made peace with the present moment, see what happens, what you can do or choose to do, or rather what life does through you. There are three words that convey the secret of the art of living, the secret of all success and happiness: One With Life. Being one with life is being one with Now. You then realize that you don’t live your life, but life lives you. Life is the dancer, and you are the dance.” –Eckhart Tolle tweet

Beautiful, and yet. I am not above stress, above worry, above judgment, above anger. I am human. We all are. I can accept these parts of me and honor the feelings I feel.

But it’s not just about me, it’s about the people in the ripples of my life, those closest to me, under my own roof, and those who I share a human connection with across the globe. Can I be kinder to those people? Can I overlook the same things in them that are undoubtedly in myself as well? What if we all tried a little harder to look not at each other’s egos, but instead at each other’s essence? The part of us that is made in the image of God. What a kinder, gentler, more peaceful place the world would be.

We are not the worry, the fear, the frustration - or even the mom, the wife or the friend. We are the awareness that is aware of our ego....I know it's a mouthful, but hear it with me: we are the awareness that is aware of our thoughts, our opinions and our emotions. Really knowing that "I Am" takes a lot of presence; it means rooting myself in simply being rather than getting lost in thinking.

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About Erin

I’m a thirty-something, coffee-loving mom of two living in a funky neighborhood in Seattle….all while seeking a balance between keeping up and slowing down.

Comments

  1. This is lovely! From a fellow over-thinker, I was glad to read this!! ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. This is great timing! I’ve been looking for a new book to read this summer. I’ll check this out. ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. This sounds like a really interesting book! I might have to *think* about reading it. ๐Ÿ˜‰ See what I did there??? ๐Ÿ˜‰

    • Very witty, Susannah! The book definitely takes some mental bandwidth, which is why I was only able to read it on a recent trip I took without my kiddos! ๐Ÿ˜‰

  4. This sounds like a GREAT read!!

  5. This is an amazing way to think about my thoughts when I have anxiety. Thank you so much for sharing!

    • Sorry for the late reply, but yes, Brittany, glad you found it helpful! It can be oh-so hard to come back to our awareness (especially when we are stressed or anxious), but that’s usually exactly what we need during those moments. ๐Ÿ™‚

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